How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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