I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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