just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
