I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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