Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
