His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
