Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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