Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
