Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
