I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
