I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
