I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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