I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
