You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
