Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
