so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more