Little spoons don't ask big questions
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.