If i come over, it means nothing
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off