When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay