I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.