Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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