when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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