Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
