69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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