I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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