My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
