We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
