I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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