Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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