Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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