she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
