I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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