Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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