like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize