Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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