Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
dude. I can hear the air.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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