I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
