Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
