Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
