They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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