My room smells like vodka and shame
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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