pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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