Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it's like heaven, but drunker
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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