Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
