Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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