ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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