I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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