The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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