all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
