I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
