Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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