My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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