She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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