drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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