So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
