Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
