He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
