..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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