9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
