i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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