Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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