He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
