i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
