you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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