What a fucking waste of an outfit
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
