my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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