i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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