I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
